Tuesday, October 22, 2013

31 Days to a Fruitful Marriage Day Fifteen: How To Counsel Each Other Without Bossing Each Other Around

This is probably one of the biggest areas my husband and I are dealing with. I personally feel like in a marriage, after about a year of marriage, you stop being so courteous with conversations and start getting really defensive. Hopefully, within a few years, you can master the art of learning when to be humble, learning when to bite your lip, and learning when to just allow your spouse to make their own mistakes. I think all married couples have good intentions for "helping" their spouse with their choices. (How many of you have had the "Why are you going this way, highway such-and-such is so much faster" conversation?)
Lately, I've really been convicted with learning to keep my mouth shut in certain circumstances when my husband just won't listen to me otherwise. Sure, I help him with things, he asks my advice in areas of business at times, or other problems. And he appreciates my advice. But sometimes, when my advice hasn't been solicited, it's not really appreciated. And that upsets me. But it's something I have to learn, he isn't one of my kids. He's my husband and I have to learn it isn't up to me to make him do things.
However, I think in a marriage, pride and ego can certainly get in the middle. Sometimes, I have to remind him that my opinion, at times, does really matter, whether he wants to hear it or not. And sometimes, it really does. As long as both partners are willing to hear with open ears and close their mouths when necessary, things will go much better. It is certainly difficult at times, though. I have to pray about it more than I'd like. You know, at those times that all I want to do is take the steering wheel and make him go the way I know is faster, but then I have to say, "what's an extra ten minutes, really?" Or in the case of our past Saturday, he will hit traffic by himself and I won't need to open my mouth at all.  

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