Friday, January 29, 2016

Musings of a 35 (almsost 36) Year Old Woman

My poor blog has been sorely neglected lately. Not sure why I haven't added much to it this last year, but tonight, I felt I had some things to say.
Dogs. They are a gift from God, and I truly believe that. My dogs are my companions, my friends. They are always excited to see me walk through the door. Even if I've only been gone a few minutes, they greet me as though they haven't seen me in a lifetime. They love my hugs, my kisses, my presence. They follow me around the house, watching me to see if I'm going to do something different than I have ever done, if I have a treat to give them, watching me in anticipation to see if I'm getting ready and about to leave them. Walking in between my dogs through my house is an exercise in agility, as it's almost like manipulating an obstacle course. They sleep soundly when I'm in the same room. I watch my pups curl up on the floor next to my feet, just happy and content to be near me. My pups have been with me now going on 7 years. They've been with me during the most important transition of my life. They've had kids that have loved them, given them attention, dressed them up despite their disgust otherwise. They've patiently awaited the birth of my daughter and licked and loved her from the moment she came home from the hospital. I looked at my dogs this week and felt the reality that I only have another 6 years with them, maybe longer if I'm lucky. It makes me spend every moment with them in happiness and feeling like God truly blessed me to give me such a beautiful example of pure, unconditional love.
This year has been a year of change for us. It doesn't normally affect me when the kids move from grade to grade, but for some reason, this year is already proving to be hard for me. My oldest is going to be a freshman, my middle one will be in junior high and my youngest will be in kindergarten. These years have gone by in such a blink. I feel like I enjoy every moment, every phase, even the hard ones. The little ages aren't the hardest for us, 2 and 3 went by ok, but it's the one Sophia's in now that are the hardest ones to take. The age of 10, as they pass from 5th grade elementary students to 6th grade junior high schoolers, has proven to be the most challenging. The in between, too old to be young and too young to be old. Annoyed by their younger siblings. Know it alls. Independent yet still dependent. Going through the major milestone of body changes and opposite sex relationships. And with a girl, it's hard because friendships change and become harder. Before we know it, though, they will be graduating and it will all be over, and we will look back and wonder where all the years went. I watched my husband and daughters tonight, my daughters still wanting the presence and snuggles of their dad, watching Goosebumps under a flowery blanket, and knowing that before too long, this stage will be over and only one will remain, until it's time for her, too, to be old to think spending a Friday night this way is "cool."
My husband tonight said I am spoiled, and he isn't the only one to feel this way. I am spoiled. Spoiled by the Godly man I married, whose hope in life is that he makes my life easier. He listens to my ramblings, my fears, my concerns, and is there for me, every step of the way. He picks up my messes, he comforts me even when I'm sounding a little looney, he makes me laugh and he loves me even when I don't make much sense. When God sends you the right one, you hold on to him tight and appreciate every day, because you realize that without him, your life simply doesn't make sense. I look at my handsome husband sometimes and pray to God that he never leaves me, as he travels for his job, and pray hard, he comes back. Every moment, every memory, every hug and kiss is a blessing that I cherish.

I guess I'm feeling a little emotional tonight and thought I'd share it with the world.