Skip to main content

31 Days to a Fruitful Marriage Day Four: Who is the Spiritual Leader?

I think this is probably something all of us know, but the Bible tells us that the husbands are to be the spiritual leaders of the family. Paul tells us in Ephesians chapter 5 that the husbands are the head of the wives as Christ is the head of the church. This chapter tells us as wives, we must submit to our husbands. It goes on to say that this means that husbands must love their wives as they love themselves and wives must respect their husbands.
However, the New Testament doesn't get super specific on the exact ways a husband should be the spiritual leader, does it? It leaves the term "spiritual leader" and what requirements fall into that category pretty open for individual determination, much like other things in the New Testament. I tried to find the chapters and verses that said, "Husbands, you need to take your families to church twice a week and participate in Bible studies every quarter, be a deacon in church, do a family quiet time every day, etc." but alas, I couldn't find those verses listed. Obviously, they do not exist.
Being a spiritual leader in every marriage really looks different in every marriage. The thing that God told us is that husbands are the head of the house. Women, submit to your husbands. Men, love your wives. Women, respect your husbands. In the next couple of days, we will talk specifically about each spouse's role in a marriage. But today, we are talking specifically about what a spiritual leader looks like.
Women, we expect our husbands to be pretty close to our idea of perfect, don't we? At times, we feel like our husbands are failing us. That because they don't do what our vision in our head is about being a spiritual leader, that they aren't doing what God has called them to do. Because they don't know all of the answers, that we can't trust them to lead us. I have had this problem a time or two (or a hundred) in my own marriage. You hope that your husband is living up to his end of the bargain and is providing you spiritual guidance regularly and participating in the all powerful "church." But sometimes, it's just not like that. Does that mean that you can't follow him, anyway?
I think trying to force your husband to do the things you want him to do as a spiritual leader is a very slippery slope. I think wives certainly should encourage their husbands during times of tribulation and doubt. But most importantly, we have to know that the one and only person that can change a person's heart is God. It is something between God and the individual. Praying is probably the best way you can get on the same page about the role of the spiritual leader in your family. But also in praying for the man "you want your husband to be," you have to pray for your own heart, that it isn't full of wrongly placed ideas and that you can learn how to follow your husband's guidance in your marriage within the confines of what is in the best interest of your family. If you are having trouble "making" your husband do something he isn't ready to do, take a step back. Pray about it and let God be the one that leads him. It's so hard to do and it takes such patience, but the benefits that will come from God leading versus you leading will be tremendous.
I put this on us, wives, because all too often, we think we always know what is best. We don't try to be like that, but we are. We are the ones who take on the lion's share of responsibilities. We know how our family runs, down to the smallest item on the grocery list to the budgeting every month. We think because we are in charge of mostly everything in our households that we know how to best lead our family spiritually, as well. It simply isn't the way it is supposed to be. I am not saying lay down and never have an opinion or never share what God is laying on your own heart about directions you think things should take. If a man loves you the way God has asked and is taking Christ's lead in love, he will certainly respect your opinion and advice about matters of spiritual direction. If you give respect and he, in return, gives love, you have a cycle of communication and giving that can move mountains.
If you are struggling with this in your marriage, you are absolutely not alone. In a marriage, this is probably the hardest thing to do. If you are struggling and in need of some great information and guidance, there is study that was excellent that my husband and I did that could really do wonders in your marriage. Don't want until things have gotten so far out of control that it's too late to work on it, if you are experiencing discourse in your marriage about this, this Bible study entitled "Love and Respect" is wonderful. If you don't/can't do this, find a Bible study at your church about marriage that you can participate in. Travel, if your church doesn't offer it. It will be worth every penny you spend.


Popular posts from this blog

It was a very good day.

I love it when God smiles upon us. I mean, He smiles upon us all the time. But sometimes, it's like sunshine, and Christmas morning, and rainbows, and babies, and awesomeness. On steroids. And I know that those times are not always permanent, so I learn to really wrap myself in His goodness, to take it all in, be happy, and just sit back and wait to see what He is going to do in my life.
We have been struggling so long. I knew it was only a matter of time before things would be OK again. Where we would feel a little stability. Where we would take all of the things we learned while struggling and apply then when times are good.
We have alot of great things going on in our lives right now. Some really great things. Some amazing, mindblowing, off the grid kind of great things. I wish I could share more, but for right now, let's just say that we are incredibly blessed with some great opportunities God is putting in our lives.
I leave you with a gorgeous picture of our biggest blessin…

What is Your Skin Care Regimen?

Since turning 34 this year, I've been really trying to make sure I am taking care of my skin. I have been using Cover Girl Liquid Powder for years, but it always seemed to break my neck out. And full disclosure, my face cleaning routine consisted of using Avery's baby wipes (which actually do remove eye makeup surprisingly well). So, needless to say, my skin didn't always look its best. So, I received some gift cards for my birthday and I decided to go ahead and spring for some better products. First thing I did was get something designed to clean my face. I ordered the Olay ProX Microdermabrasion System. This system came with the battery-operated scrubber with both a brush and foam pad, plus every day face wash and microdermabrasion wash to be used twice a week. I have really loved using this system. The beauty is that you can really use any face wash you'd like. I will probably buy a pore-reducing wash after the tube they sent me is empty. This system really exfolia…

Our Trip to Orlando and Universal/Disney Travel Tips! (Long Post!!!)

Well, we just got back from our trip to Orlando! And I am tired and sore, but happy and so very glad we were able to do this as a family! Most of my Facebook peeps saw our pictures, but I wanted to share about our vacation and a little travel tips for those thinking of planning something similiar! 
Use a Travel Agent!
First and foremost - I booked my trip, basically last minute, through the amazing and wonderful Lana Kluge . Booking through a travel agent costs you, the consumer, NOTHING. It doesn't make your trip any more expensive and adds nothing to your end bill. What it does do is add a valuable service to your vacation, and that's exactly what Lana offered us. She has been to Disney multiple times and was able to answer all of my many questions up to, and while on, my vacation. Even with booking our resort, we were able to ask where our room was located, as the resort we stayed at (Art of Animation) is very large and I read people saying they had to walk a very long way …