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Showing posts from December, 2009


Do you ever sometimes feel like everything and every choice you do is wrong? I felt like that this past week. As a step-mom, it's hard to know your boundaries. It's hard to know what choice you will make that will be the one that might separate you from the kids. If you correct their behavior, is this the time you will cross the line with them and they will start not liking you? Do they feel like you are taking their dad away or making him less fun? I think Jason and the kids had a different dynamic before I came along. He was very fun and allowed them to do daring things. I think that's all men. They don't see sometimes the danger in what they allow kids to do, and as women, we do. For example, we took the kids on a walk to the parking lot of the school across the street (which was empty) so Jordan could practice on his new scooter and Sophia was walking her new baby in her new stroller. Well, earlier that day, he took the kids out by themselves and allowed them to &q…

Our Christmas Week

Know what I've decided? I am NOT going to do any more ongoing blogs, like the 12 days of Christmas. It was such a great idea, but I forget to do it, then I look back today and where I should have 11 I only have 4. I am just not good about this blogging thing yet.

This week has been an interesting experience. I got to experience a little of what it's like to be a stay at home mom. We have the kids this week and I took the week off to hang out with them. I certainly have a new understanding for what it's like! There is a part of me that likes not having the responsibility of a job. However, being at home with children all day is a totally different challenge. First of all, it's hard labor. You do the cleaning, the laundry, vacuuming, etc. You are constantly picking things up, making food, playing with kids. I think I would probably lose about 20 pounds if I did it all the time, because there were a couple of meals I completely forgot to eat. I have been thinking about w…

My Beautiful New Family

Last year, actually on New Year's Eve, I called my dad sobbing because of how sad I was that was spending another holiday alone. I told him I was lonely and upset that I might never find anyone. I told him I felt hopeless of ever finding love. Isn't it funny how life works out? God knows our paths and knew, in that moment of hopelessness, I would find Jason 3 months later. Not only that, He knew I would also have two beautiful children I would have the honor to help raise. What a blessing that was! My relationship was completely unexpected. Had I only known Jason was coming, I don't know that I would have acted such the fool only 3 months before. It reminds me in life of all the time we jump to conclusions, or think things are so bad or will never get better, and suddenly, we look up and they are. I am so glad to have Jason, Jorden and Sophia in my life. I am glad for my new extended family, Robert, Shari, Scotty, Faith, Isom, Robert, Kadin, and Jax. I am also blessed by m…

Beauty of A Strong Mind and Spirit

There are so many opportunities we have to allow negative thinking and doubt to enter our minds and take over completely. I know I am guilty of it and have had it happen more times than I care to remember. Thankfully, God has given me a great gift of a strong mind and spirit to battle my daily demons and overcome them. Whatever those demons may be...
"I don't like the way I look."
"I am not good enough for love."
"I don't deserve happiness."
"We don't have enough money."
God has given you the ability to overcome anything that is set in your path and do it with strength. "I can do anything through Him who gives me strength." Phillipians 4:13. Those are such comforting words! I can do ANYTHING! All you have to do is pray and be positive. God never gives us more than we can handle. In times of stress or need, I know that my Lord will never give me more than can handle, and I can call upon Him to help me through.

My God, You Are My God

It's December 13th, that means 12 days to Christmas! I told myself I would blog about that this year. So, this week has been a hard one for me. I have been feeling very stressed, depressed, and my self-esteem hasn't been so great. I look in the mirror and don't like what I see, and it's not necessarily the weight. It's how I have kept myself up. My priorities have been a little skewed over the last few months, Jason and I both know that, and it has really done a number on me this week. There is one main component that's been missing from my life: God. I haven't been spending time with Him, in His word. It's funny how, over time, if you do not find time for God, your view of yourself goes right out the window and things in your life start to unravel. I am missing His presence, and I think that is what all of this is about. Therefore, on the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me...

God and His Word. "Open the eyes of my heard, Lord. Open the…