I was going to post a few of my past days 30 days of prayer and the topics, but something else sideswiped me today, so I thought it was only fitting that I pray for something else today, including my marriage.
I do NOT always like to be the bigger person. There, I said it. Sometimes, it's nice to be the bigger person, because you feel good about yourself, knowing that you have done the right thing. Other times, being the bigger person JUST. PLAIN. STINKS.
I feel really sorry for Jason sometimes. Being divorced with kids involves ALOT of being the bigger person. Especially when there is someone that just doesn't want to cooperate. I had a taste of what it was like tonight to have someone just not care, one small little bit, about someone else's life, feelings, or time. Let me tell you, in alot of life's circumstances, you have control over the situation, to a certain degree. Divorce and children is not one of those circumstances if you are the parent who does not have the kids the majority of the time. There are alot of dead beat dads out there, I get that. There are alot of dads who do not care to pay for their children or want to be a part of their childrens' lives. But Jason is not one of those dads. For dads like Jason, the system seriously is rotten. And if you have a lawyer who was not working to help you at all from the beginning, it's even more rotten. I wish there was something I could do sometimes to help. I wish I could do something to make things less frustrating at times, for him and for me. But the fact is, there are just things beyond our control in life and this is one of them. It just stinks sometimes, it really just does. We pray to God, ALOT for the ability just to get over it, because it is all we can do. If we dwell on the unfairness of it all, it will just eat us up inside. So Jason and I will vent to each other when things happen that are not fair and then get over it. Life is simply too short.
I have always told myself that I will not use this blog as a way of putting someone else down, even though there have been many instances where I have wanted to do just that. Once again, that is me being the bigger person. And I realize I am being incredibly vague about the circumstances involving this post. But I just needed to say "LIFE ISN'T FUN SOMETIMES AND BEING THE BIGGER PERSON IS HARD!"
One of my favorite quotes is how I will end this: "Whoever decided how high the high road should be should be fired." Sandra Bullock
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