Sunday, October 20, 2013

31 Days to a Fruitful Marriage Day Twelve: Picking a Church You Both Like

As a Christian, single or marriage, picking a church is always a daunting process. Being married makes the decision a little more challenging.
I think picking a church can be difficult because it's hard to judge how well you will get along with others and it can be kind of tough to get to know people. We've been at our church almost two years and it took us a good year to really feel comfortable and get to know people. No one just walks in to church one Sunday and immediately feels like they are where they belong. I think you get a feeling from God that tells you that you are in the right place, but I still feel like there is a sense of uneasiness that lingers for a while. I am a social person and I have found church to be the hardest place to get to know people. I know that the reason it feels that way is because as much as we want to be accepted at church, we are terrified to show other members our true selves, especially our true marriages. You think you are around every one else who is in the "perfect marriage," when in your marriage, you right and argue and don't pray together, etc, even though you don't realize that everyone there has had that season of marriage too.
I think as a married couple, there are a few things to think about, and it's not about whether you like the preaching on Sunday.
First, if you have kids, you have to be comfortable with the children's ministry. Are they organized? Do they have a good system in place for watching the kids? What do they teach the kids? Do the other kids look like they are having fun? Do they have Awanas or other types of kids' activities?
Second, does the church have a marriage ministry? Do they value the importance of marriage and do things to encourage strong and Godly marriages?
Third, are there plenty of married people around your same age? Or at least, couples who are in the same season of life as you? Do they do things together as couples and as families?
These are all things to consider, but the biggest thing I can say is give visiting a few weeks and really go out on a limb to see if there is a place for you to fit in and serve at your church. This means more than just coming to church service. Sunday school (or whatever the church calls it) is a good chance to really see if it is a church you could see yourself, your marriage, and your family thrive. If you feel good about it, give it some time. Forming relationships will take time and commitment, but it will happen. The biggest thing, though, is just to get involved. Start somewhere, start where the church needs people, then go from there.

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