Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Why My Girlfriends Are So Very Important....

I was talking to a friend of mine the other night about the friendships that you know will always be in your life. There are many friendships over the course of your life that come and go. While they might serve a purpose at one time, they aren't meant to last. (Much like relationships, you know?) Then, there are some friendships that you keep, that no matter what happens, you know they will always be there.
When you become a mom, especially to a girl, I think those friendships take on a whole new meaning. At least, they have to me. First and foremost, I have never been one of those people who keep people around that I don't like or that suck the goodness out of my life. In my opinion, a life long friendship is alot like a marriage, in that it's never 50/50. Sometimes it's one person giving more than another, but in the end, it evens out. I've never been the type to keep a friendship going where I feel like I am the one giving all the time and never receiving anything in return, nor have I ever been the type to be around someone who always and forever zaps my happiness. Now, at times, have we all zapped happiness away from our friends because of our "woe is me" stories? Well, of course! But if I've been friends with you for years, and I don't see any redeeming value in our friendship because it's been all take and no give, than more than likely, we aren't going to be close friends anymore. Well, then, as a mom, you have to ask the question to yourself that is hard: is this person good around my child? Meaning, do they treat your child with respect, aka, not curse around them, not make inappropriate comments, etc? Luckily, I haven't been in a situation where I've had to make that choice, but there are many who might be.

I've had several friends in my life, whom I would consider life long friends, who I might go weeks without speaking to or seeing, but we would always do anything for each other. These are women who bring something different into my life, who make me smile, whom I can go to for venting, whom are completely different women but all offer me so much. I can say with certainty that we have a mutual respect of one another, we've fought (some started out as the opposite of friend to me!), but at the end of the day, our friendships mean more than anything else.

You see, these women are women I continue to want in my life after I had Avery. All of these women are in different places in life. One had older kiddos, two live in a different state, a couple are single, some are married, but I've managed to keep the friendships going, after I had a baby, because I knew that these women would help get me through life's hard moments. I also knew that they would help me raise my daughter. There is going to come a time when Avery doesn't think I am cool and might be going through things that she doesn't want to confide in me about. I am hoping my friends will come to the rescue. Each of my friends also having been through hard experiences in life, that might be different than my own. I am hoping that when the time comes for Avery to talk about those things, there is one good, adult, woman role model she can speak with, if she can't talk to me.

I know it's hard as a mother with young kids to keep those friendships going. You just always think it's too busy or whatever, but I encourage you to keep those friends whom bring you happiness and make time for them in your life. It's so very important!!

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