Skip to main content

So Many New Blessings...Makes Me Think....

So, I can't help but notice how many people around me are pregnant. Most of them with their second or third babies.

There is a tinge of jealousy that hits me, like I should want to also be pregnant. I miss being pregnant, sometimes. The anticipation of a new person, the "first times" of a baby, how little they are and how they need you so much, all the time.


I have people ask me all the time, "Don't you want another one?" Even though I have two step kids and a one biological one, which makes three, people still want to know if Jason and I will have more.


It's hard NOT to want another one, considering how wonderful our life is now. Avery is like, the perfect child. She was a great baby. I had a wonderful pregnancy and delivery. Jason is a great father and a wonderful supporter of me. So, it's hard for me to NOT want another one sometimes.


But when it boils down to actually thinking about it, I just can't get past doing it all over again. The truth is that Jason and I didn't even know if we wanted kids when we first got married. We had Jordan and Soph and we still had our own life together. We still had some freedom and we had so many aspirations to travel and do these crazy things.


It's a good thing God knows my heart better than I do, because I couldn't imagine my life without Avery in it. She was a wonderful, incredible, unimaginable surprise that I am so grateful for everyday.


But I don't know that Jason and I could add a fourth into the mix. We are looking for 4 bedroom houses now, I couldn't imagine where we would put another one. We pay $660 a month for daycare, I couldn't imagine adding another $660 for daycare. And I don't know that I could EVER be a stay at home mom. It's just not in me.

 

Not to mention, we are going to try and start taking kids on actual vacations. And go on vacations ourselves. With Jordan being 10, that means that the 4th kid would not even be big enough to go do anything until Jordan was at least 12. These are the thoughts that cross my mind when I think of adding another pitter patter of feet.


I am sure if by some chance God blessed us with another child, all of these questions or wonderings would be resolved and He would tie up the loose ends and we would love another baby just as much and couldn't imagine our life as anything else but a family of 6.


But for now, I am pretty happy with how things are. I will always miss being pregnant. I will always miss Avery being little and helpless. I will always have a slight yearning for doing it all over again.


These three are enough. They bring me joy every day. And I guess I will just have to hold this future little one alot, very soon. :-)










Comments

Brooklynn said…
As much as you want! :)
April 10, 2012 at 7:12 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It was a very good day.

I love it when God smiles upon us. I mean, He smiles upon us all the time. But sometimes, it's like sunshine, and Christmas morning, and rainbows, and babies, and awesomeness. On steroids. And I know that those times are not always permanent, so I learn to really wrap myself in His goodness, to take it all in, be happy, and just sit back and wait to see what He is going to do in my life.
We have been struggling so long. I knew it was only a matter of time before things would be OK again. Where we would feel a little stability. Where we would take all of the things we learned while struggling and apply then when times are good.
We have alot of great things going on in our lives right now. Some really great things. Some amazing, mindblowing, off the grid kind of great things. I wish I could share more, but for right now, let's just say that we are incredibly blessed with some great opportunities God is putting in our lives.
I leave you with a gorgeous picture of our biggest blessin…
12 comments
Read more

What is Your Skin Care Regimen?

Since turning 34 this year, I've been really trying to make sure I am taking care of my skin. I have been using Cover Girl Liquid Powder for years, but it always seemed to break my neck out. And full disclosure, my face cleaning routine consisted of using Avery's baby wipes (which actually do remove eye makeup surprisingly well). So, needless to say, my skin didn't always look its best. So, I received some gift cards for my birthday and I decided to go ahead and spring for some better products. First thing I did was get something designed to clean my face. I ordered the Olay ProX Microdermabrasion System. This system came with the battery-operated scrubber with both a brush and foam pad, plus every day face wash and microdermabrasion wash to be used twice a week. I have really loved using this system. The beauty is that you can really use any face wash you'd like. I will probably buy a pore-reducing wash after the tube they sent me is empty. This system really exfolia…
1 comment
Read more

My Trip To Rockport

My best friend moved to Rockport 3 years ago when her husband was offered the job as airport manager. His sisters, brother in law, nieces and nephews and mother all lived in that town, and two years ago, the construction on their newly built homes was completed. (his sister and brother in law, and my friend and husband built homes side by side)
A week ago Thursday, she called me and asked if she could bring her family up to DFW and would I be willing to have a few stay with us. She told me that there was a mandatory evacuation in Rockport, but they were thinking it would only be until Monday. Of course, I always love seeing her, so I was pretty excited for an excuse for them to come up and spend the weekend. As the day went by, they were predicting a more severe storm, and the family decided to get a hotel room in Waco, close to their son, who went to Baylor. They wanted to be closer to Rockport and brought animals on the trip, so thought a hotel would be the best option. My friend&#…
Post a Comment
Read more