Skip to main content

So Many New Blessings...Makes Me Think....

So, I can't help but notice how many people around me are pregnant. Most of them with their second or third babies.

There is a tinge of jealousy that hits me, like I should want to also be pregnant. I miss being pregnant, sometimes. The anticipation of a new person, the "first times" of a baby, how little they are and how they need you so much, all the time.


I have people ask me all the time, "Don't you want another one?" Even though I have two step kids and a one biological one, which makes three, people still want to know if Jason and I will have more.


It's hard NOT to want another one, considering how wonderful our life is now. Avery is like, the perfect child. She was a great baby. I had a wonderful pregnancy and delivery. Jason is a great father and a wonderful supporter of me. So, it's hard for me to NOT want another one sometimes.


But when it boils down to actually thinking about it, I just can't get past doing it all over again. The truth is that Jason and I didn't even know if we wanted kids when we first got married. We had Jordan and Soph and we still had our own life together. We still had some freedom and we had so many aspirations to travel and do these crazy things.


It's a good thing God knows my heart better than I do, because I couldn't imagine my life without Avery in it. She was a wonderful, incredible, unimaginable surprise that I am so grateful for everyday.


But I don't know that Jason and I could add a fourth into the mix. We are looking for 4 bedroom houses now, I couldn't imagine where we would put another one. We pay $660 a month for daycare, I couldn't imagine adding another $660 for daycare. And I don't know that I could EVER be a stay at home mom. It's just not in me.

 

Not to mention, we are going to try and start taking kids on actual vacations. And go on vacations ourselves. With Jordan being 10, that means that the 4th kid would not even be big enough to go do anything until Jordan was at least 12. These are the thoughts that cross my mind when I think of adding another pitter patter of feet.


I am sure if by some chance God blessed us with another child, all of these questions or wonderings would be resolved and He would tie up the loose ends and we would love another baby just as much and couldn't imagine our life as anything else but a family of 6.


But for now, I am pretty happy with how things are. I will always miss being pregnant. I will always miss Avery being little and helpless. I will always have a slight yearning for doing it all over again.


These three are enough. They bring me joy every day. And I guess I will just have to hold this future little one alot, very soon. :-)










Comments

Brooklynn said…
As much as you want! :)
April 10, 2012 at 7:12 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Why I am Pro Universal Healthcare and Changes to Our Healthcare System

Due to my recent proactivity with my credit and paying off debt, I decided to give the hospital a call where I was admitted about a month ago and ask about my bill. I wanted to make sure I didn't miss it in the mail and I wanted to get an idea of what I'd be paying for my stay. I get on the phone with the billing department and the woman is just as nice as can be, really. She was surprised I'd even called her, considering I didn't even have a bill yet. She told me she'd sent the bill over to my insurance to be approved and paid but they hadn't heard back yet. "Just out of curiosity," I asked, knowing I would be responsible for 20% of the final bill, "how much was it?" What I heard next shocked me.   "$61,000" she said.   I said, "$61,000? I was only in the hospital for a night and only on anti-biotics, you can't be serious! My daughter cost me less than a third of that to give birth to and I was in the hospital two nights!...
6 comments
Read more

Some Changes...

We've been going through a bit of a transition at the Whitehead household the last month or so. I haven't really talked too much about it because I wasn't ready, to be honest. It's just a lot of change and I've been trying to figure it out in my head.   As of three weeks ago last Friday, I am no longer a full time work out of home employee.   I can't believe I just said that.   It's been the plan for several months now for me to go into real estate and it was always assumed I'd be doing that part time, while keeping my full time job. Plans kind of changed when Jason got his promotion. He'd always has a job that allowed him a lot of flexibility. In sales, especially after you've been in a position for a while, it just sort of happens that way. He could take Avery to daycare and pick her up, he could take her to doctor's appointments, he could even do chores around the house in the afternoon, while I was at work. I had some flexibi...
3 comments
Read more

That "Thing" in That Basket Isn't a Baby, You Know That, Right?

I have had the most horrible case of writer's block lately! With that said, I saw this article on Babycenter and I just had to write something about it.   So, we've heard of the trend of eating the placenta after birth . We've heard of the trend of putting them in pill form to get the nutrients . But this? This to me, is just the craziest of them all.   As a group of beings on this planet, I've never seen any other mammal who evolves to get to a certain place, then de-evolves on purpose, to be more "natural." I am sure I am seriously about to put my foot in my mouth, I am sure there are (some) people out there that I might offend with my "closed-mindedness" on this topic. But this is just, well, ridiculous to me.   Basically, after the placenta comes out, instead of cutting the cord and detaching it from the baby, you leave the placenta on, they salt it to help with the decomp process, add rosemary (I am guessing for the smell?), then p...
7 comments
Read more