Sometimes, I still am overcome with emotion when I think about Avery.
She is such a joy, such a light in my life, such a sweet spirit, such a unique personality. I just can not believe how blessed I have been having her as my daughter.
In the picture above, you can see her fingers. She constantly has something she is "rolling" around in her fingers. When she is on the potty, she will grab a little piece of toilet paper and roll it into a ball. She will pick up little bitty rocks, stuff she finds on the floor, pieces of food. Jason hates it, he thinks it's so disgusting. I guess it kind of is. You just wonder, when you look at your kids and their habits and traits, "How did they even get to being like this?" She has always loved to do this. It's a habit of hers. I just think it's something that makes her uniquely Avery and I love it.
She is just growing up so fast. She doesn't have any trace of baby left in her. No chubby baby feet, no chubby baby legs. I was helping her change clothes the other night and looked at her legs and realized that they are the legs of a 2 year old. She is a little girl, all the way around. It really does happen in the blink of an eye. I have purposely made it a point to savor every moment with her, every memory, every stage, I guess naively thinking it would make it last longer in my mind. No matter how much you appreciate the time you get, it doesn't make it go any slower. One of these days, I am going to wake up and find a high school graduate sitting in front of me and wonder how 18 years could pass by so fast.
I guess tonight I am feeling grateful for this little blessing in my life. I came home from work tonight and had her run towards me, with excitement and love, and I had a little girl that wanted me to pick her up and never put her down. I also know there will come a time when that changes, and I will have to beg for her attention, instead of the other way around. It breaks my heart and makes me happy all at once. Being a parent is the hardest thing in the world to do. Watching your kids grow up from babies, to toddlers, to kids, to teens, to adults is such a mix of emotions and I never understood it until she came along.
I try not to think of the future and things that are to come in her life. I want to be excited and grateful for today, the day this beautiful child talked to me on the way to daycare and told me about what she saw out the window. Who watched Sesame Street and pointed out all of the characters she knew. The one who I came to get out of bed and she said, "morning mommy!" with a sweet smile. The little girl who I could still hold down in a bear hug in bed and kiss her face to my heart's desire, without a moment's hesitation. The little girl who asks for a sippy cup of milk in the morning. The one who whines for food she wants. The little girl with a messy head of hair and cute baby teeth, grinning from ear to ear, while she tells me how pretty I am when I get ready to work. The little girl who poses in her dress and tells me how she can twirl, then shows me how good she is at it. The little girl who can still fit in her little rocking chair while she watches Blue's Clues. The little girl who gets scared and immediately runs to me to make her feel better. The little girl who wants to use me as a jungle gym, while kneeing and elbowing me in all the wrong places. The little girl who bears such a striking resemblance to her mommy, who is outspoken and a singer, and who loves people in her life so much.
God, thank you for this blessing that is my daughter. Thank you for trusting me enough with her life and for giving me the priviledge to watch her live it.