Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Becoming Unglued

Kelly's Korner is doing a "Build Em' Up" Series and today, her topic is what we do when we become unglued. Considering how unglued I feel at my present time in life, I thought it was fitting I added to the discussion.
I was just telling my husband today that I was feeling very out of control. Our life right now is a series of commitments and activities and I feel like it's just constantly one thing after another thing after another thing. It's all I can do to keep going some days, I mean, keep going in a productive direction while having things together. Not in a "depression" way of ""keeping going," but in a purposeful, forward motion. Between budgets, kids, work, husbands, and a household, it really is just alot for me to handle sometimes and I don't always do a good job of hanging on.
I don't always remember birthdays and sending birthday cards. I don't always remember to call friends or respond to texts. I can't always participate in every activity I am asked to join. Sometimes, after a long day and more activities at night, I really have no energy left to do anything in my final hour of the day besides sit and stare at the TV. I figured out that the reason I enjoy watching TV is because it's mindless. It requires no mental energy. It requires still, mindless activity, for once in my day.
My job requires my brain to be on from the moment I get there to the second I leave. I recently got a promotion at work and it requires me to coordinate and manage several projects, which requires my full attention at all times. I am a part of a Bible study Tuesdays, youth leader at church Wednesdays, Thursdays is a flurry of having my stepkids, making dinner, getting them back to their moms, and Fridays lately have been cleaning or preparing for the influx of activities on Saturdays. The weekends have been non-stop, one thing or another thing, for the last couple of months. With summer coming, Mother's Day, Father's Day, and then a whole month of 3 kids in July and what to do with them during the day, it's alot to plan and think about. It feels like sometimes the only evening I have in my entire week that I get to veg out and relax is Mondays, and even that isn't always free.
Lately, I have been feeling defeated. I can't seem to get my weight under control. My house is constantly a disaster of laundry and "stuff" everywhere. I have to back out of one commitment to be a part of another often. My marriage is lacking the excitement and conversation because I don't have any energy left, after giving all of my energy to everyone else. I know, I know. You can't do all things. Marriage is the most important. I get all of that. I know, I need to time for me. I know all of the things I would say to myself during this time of busy-ness in our life. And that's just it, it's a time of busy-ness, it won't last forever. Sometimes, things really can't just "wait until later." Sometimes, things have to be dealt with and done right now. But that usually means that something will suffer or get put on the backburner.
I am still struggling with knowing how to manage all things without going completely nuts. I don't know how to fit exercise into my day without sacrificing my much-needed time to relax. I don't want to feel like I am going, going, going for 14 straight hours, then have to spend "free time" doing exercise, and I have yet to find exercise I actually enjoy, so it just feels like another hour of "work" to me. Housework is yet another tug at my husband is great at doing this in the afternoons, but if things go well for him in the near future, he will no longer have as much free time during the week, so that's another thing to consider.

I have come to the conclusion that A) The world will not come to an end because I am not always the best at having things organized. B) I can't say yes to everything I am asked to do. C) It's OK to take a break and focus on one thing at a time. D) This is just a season, nothing more.

But, what do I do to feel better? For one, I don't sacrifice sleep, at least, not more than once per week. I need at least 6-8 hours a night to function. I absolutely don't stay up past 11 at all during the week unless a random circumstance occurs. If it's a choice between going to bed on time and staying up to fold laundry, you better believe my bed will win. I just become a person I don't like when I am exhausted. I also can't functionally handle the things life throws at me in a constructive way when I am tired. Secondly, I allow myself at least some silent time each day. Silent, still time. Just to sit and relax, let my brain shut off, let my body shut down. Usually, this is TV time. Sometimes, it's sitting out on the patio on a nice night with Jason. This happens every day, or else I would self-destruct. Thirdly, when I am to the end of my rope and I need a night off, I take it. I simply can't push myself to my limi every single day. Most people in my life understand if I can't commit to doing something or need a night off. Fourth, I rely very heavily on my husband to help me. He is a wonderful partner. I communicate how I am feeling all the time and if I am stressed or tired or just need a break, he is great at giving me that time I need. I don't expect him to just jump in and help, I tell him when I need it. We are good together that way!

What do you do when you start becoming unglued?

1 comment:

Jennifer said...

Love your honesty and I think we can all relate. IF there are times when it seems like I might have it together, it's not long before everything is back in disarray (or so it seems to me).

Thanks for linking up with us!