Today is our 3rd anniversary...
What a great 3 years it's been!
This weekend, we had a kid-free weekend. We went to the Mavs game Friday night - a first for us - and it was great fun. We even took the train out to Dallas and that was well worth it, to not have to park and deal with traffic.
Jason was in hog heaven. I was so glad to see him do something he truly enjoys. It doesn't hurt that this month is also March Madness. He is a basketball player and loves to watch it, so right now, he is truly enjoying life. :-)
What is the secret to a good marriage? There are so many ways I could answer that question. But the one thing I will tell you is that the first thing you have to do is to marry the right person in the first place. When I was single, I had all of these ideas of the "perfect guy" or what my life would be like with the perfect guy. How I would feel about the perfect guy, the kinds of things he would say, stuff like that. I had many, many preconceived notions. Needless to say, the choices I made in men during my 20's was less than satisfactory. You know who I never bothered to ask about what type of man I should be with? God. I didn't want His opinion, so I never got it, and I spent alot of years being treated very poorly as a result of attempting to make my own decisions about my love life.
When I finally told God I give up, and asked Him what type of guy I should be with, He sent me one about two weeks later, in the form of Jason. Jason was not at all like any guy I'd been with. He was actually, well, nice and kind. Oh, and He loved the Lord. Probably the most important characteristic you can find in a husband, and a characteristic I never cared about at all in any man I'd dated. Isn't that sad and crazy?
I had to really give up alot of the things I was holding on to about a guy to be with Jason. For some reason, I had clung so tightly to characteristics that were so wrong and so against what God wanted for me, that it took me giving up those things before God actually showed me a man who could give me so much more than I ever thought possible. Things like, a "successful career", knowing the coolest placest to eat and hang out, not married before, etc. But the biggest thing I had to let go of is to let the ones go who didn't truly love me, who didn't want the best for me, who didn't treat me well. For some reason as women, we tend to latch on to those men who can't give us what we truly need or want, because we think if we hold on long enough, we will get what we want. "God wouldn't have given me a guy that I love so much and then not eventually give me him!" If I had a nickel for every time I justified staying with a guy for that reason, I would have alot of nickels.
The truth is that if you are with a guy that isn't giving you every thing you need or want, and you've discussed it with him and he has no intention of giving you those things, and I mean, important things like a commitment, a marriage, himself, then you need to tell yourself that God didn't send that man for you. You have chosen to be with that person, despite what God wants for you and your relationships. And if you are single and following God's plan, and you are asking yourself why you haven't found that person yet, you really have no idea what is taking so long???? Well, God might not be preparing your heart, He might be preparing your future partner's heart. Jason was married the bulk of my 20's. That's why I didn't meet him sooner. He was in a marriage that wasn't going to succeed and had some of his own lessons to learn. So, once again, as with many things, it's all in God's timing. I know that's not easy to accept sometimes, but it does all work out, if you let God make the choices for you and let go of the things you think you want. He will give you much more than you could have ever wanted.
That's just my opinion, anyway. :-) I hope I don't sound preachy or condescending. Sometimes, when I write stuff like this, I am writing to that 26 year old me, the one who was depressed and lonely, and couldn't understand why. Who had no idea how great I would have it one day, who had no hope of that at all. And I also hope I don't come across like I am bragging, but I do feel blessed by this man in my life. He has really taught me so much about love, I just really appreciate him so much.
Have a great Wednesday, everyone!