Jason and I started taking child birth classes last week. I am sorry, I do not have any pictures of this to show you, not that it would really matter if I had pictures. It's not like what I thought, or how they look like on the tv. At least, mine isn't. The funny part is that the first night, they had us bring a pillow and blanket. We were all prepared to get on the floor and work on breathing exercises. The nurse teaching the class promptly informed us that blankets and pillows would not be necessary, as no mother actually gets down on the floor during labor. Hmm, good point. So last week, we talked about contractions, the hospital and what to expect to bring with you, that sort of thing. This week, we watched two videos, one to show us the 4 stages of labor and one to show a natural child birth, start to finish. Let me just tell you, watching the labor wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. And let me ALSO tell you, as much as I love my unborn child, she will not be coming in to this world without medicinal assistance.
I started having some anxieties this week, as all of this starts to sink in. First, you realize that this baby is going to actually have to come out of you at some point. For those of us that this has never happened to, it's a scary thought. The scariest part to me is that I know nothing of what to expect. The classes are certainly helping, but still. It's hard to imagine. As much as they say, "contractions, in the beginning, are like a really big menstrual cramp" it still does not fully describe what it will actually feel like. Secondly, I realize that after this baby comes in to this world, I will be responsible for its well being. Will she be a cryer? Will she be up all night? What will she look like? There are so many questions to which I have no answers and it makes me a little on edge. I am the type that can adapt to change pretty well, but I like to have thought through all scenarios, so I can be as prepared as possible. And no matter how hard I try, I can't possibly think through all scenarios because as a new mom, I have no idea what all of those might be. My wonderful friend Nikki, who spent my lunch yesterday talking to me about anything I had questions about in reference to babies, let me know poop JUST MIGHT come out of the diaper and on to the baby's back and legs, getting all of you and her. HUH?? This is not an appetizing situation. What new mom would think of this? I feel very sorry for Eve, who had no classes to go to, books to read, or experienced moms to talk with. She really had it bad.
The other thing that is happening along with all of this is Jason and I are having trouble communicating. I am getting angry at the smallest things and he is getting just as aggravated. I find myself saying that this is the ONLY time I will go through this experience, it should be 100% all about me. Is this wrong? I mean, seriously, mothers, am I being selfish? And don't tell me the whole "it's your time, you be as selfish as you want" unless you really think that's true. But I am finding it very difficult to communicate my accurate and true feelings to him without my hormones and anxiety interfering. It's causing a little bit of stress with us, but I am sure that, as everything else I have said, is normal.
The thing is, I am so happy about this baby. Avery is going to be such a huge blessing to Jason and me. She is going to be someone that was a missing piece of a complete puzzle, if that makes any sense. In my life, I feel like my puzzle was complete, but I am sure when she shows up, it will be like "now, how was our puzzle complete WITHOUT her in it?" But right now, I am in an adjustment phase, one which will take alot of patience and understanding on the part of my dear, sweet husband. That's just how it is.
I am 24 weeks and 4 days today. I will post belly pictures in about 2 weeeks, as the last one was taken 2 weeks ago. I have to say, I feel really good about myself because everyone keeps saying, "you are HOW far along?? You are tiny!" Either they are being serious or just being the kindest people ever because I already feel like a house. Moving around is becoming more exhausting and all I want to do every night this week is sleep. Being pregnant is an interesting experience, I will tell you that much!
Good night my dear, sweet Avery. Please do not kick Mommy too hard tonight, and I would certainly appreciate if you did not think my bladder was a bouncy chair, causing me to get up 3 times to pee, like you did last night. But I still love you, even if you kicked me all night long. I like that I know you are in there, awake and alert. Strong and safe. It makes me happy. And maybe in the next few weeks, you could start to kick harder so your Daddy could feel you really well, too. He needs to know you are in there and loving his voice.
I love you, Mommy
I started having some anxieties this week, as all of this starts to sink in. First, you realize that this baby is going to actually have to come out of you at some point. For those of us that this has never happened to, it's a scary thought. The scariest part to me is that I know nothing of what to expect. The classes are certainly helping, but still. It's hard to imagine. As much as they say, "contractions, in the beginning, are like a really big menstrual cramp" it still does not fully describe what it will actually feel like. Secondly, I realize that after this baby comes in to this world, I will be responsible for its well being. Will she be a cryer? Will she be up all night? What will she look like? There are so many questions to which I have no answers and it makes me a little on edge. I am the type that can adapt to change pretty well, but I like to have thought through all scenarios, so I can be as prepared as possible. And no matter how hard I try, I can't possibly think through all scenarios because as a new mom, I have no idea what all of those might be. My wonderful friend Nikki, who spent my lunch yesterday talking to me about anything I had questions about in reference to babies, let me know poop JUST MIGHT come out of the diaper and on to the baby's back and legs, getting all of you and her. HUH?? This is not an appetizing situation. What new mom would think of this? I feel very sorry for Eve, who had no classes to go to, books to read, or experienced moms to talk with. She really had it bad.
The other thing that is happening along with all of this is Jason and I are having trouble communicating. I am getting angry at the smallest things and he is getting just as aggravated. I find myself saying that this is the ONLY time I will go through this experience, it should be 100% all about me. Is this wrong? I mean, seriously, mothers, am I being selfish? And don't tell me the whole "it's your time, you be as selfish as you want" unless you really think that's true. But I am finding it very difficult to communicate my accurate and true feelings to him without my hormones and anxiety interfering. It's causing a little bit of stress with us, but I am sure that, as everything else I have said, is normal.
The thing is, I am so happy about this baby. Avery is going to be such a huge blessing to Jason and me. She is going to be someone that was a missing piece of a complete puzzle, if that makes any sense. In my life, I feel like my puzzle was complete, but I am sure when she shows up, it will be like "now, how was our puzzle complete WITHOUT her in it?" But right now, I am in an adjustment phase, one which will take alot of patience and understanding on the part of my dear, sweet husband. That's just how it is.
I am 24 weeks and 4 days today. I will post belly pictures in about 2 weeeks, as the last one was taken 2 weeks ago. I have to say, I feel really good about myself because everyone keeps saying, "you are HOW far along?? You are tiny!" Either they are being serious or just being the kindest people ever because I already feel like a house. Moving around is becoming more exhausting and all I want to do every night this week is sleep. Being pregnant is an interesting experience, I will tell you that much!
Good night my dear, sweet Avery. Please do not kick Mommy too hard tonight, and I would certainly appreciate if you did not think my bladder was a bouncy chair, causing me to get up 3 times to pee, like you did last night. But I still love you, even if you kicked me all night long. I like that I know you are in there, awake and alert. Strong and safe. It makes me happy. And maybe in the next few weeks, you could start to kick harder so your Daddy could feel you really well, too. He needs to know you are in there and loving his voice.
I love you, Mommy
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