Jason and I are newlyweds, going through the trials of the first year of marriage. We are also a couple that is expecting. We are also a couple who have both changed jobs this year. We have had alot of things happen to us in the last 7 months.
When Jason and I got together in the beginning, I had convinced myself that I had alot of wisdom when it came to relationships. I was by myself for so long and had been through so many heartbreaks and bad situations when it came to guys that I thought when I met Jason, I had it all figured out. I really thought that since I was older when I got married and was "wiser" that I was going to be immune to alot of the things people go through in relationships. I had seen friends get together and break up, watching as they went through their trials and I told myself I learned a few things along the way. I knew the importance of keeping your sense of humor. I knew the importance of spending time with friends as an individual. I knew what could happen to people if they didn't have God in the center of their relationship. I knew the benefits of not constantly fighting and making the relationship intentionally harder than it had to be. I really thought Jason and I were immune to alot of the things people go through in relationships. I was not exactly accurate.
I will say, Jason and I have been through alot and learned alot as individuals. We certainly do not have the same problems as people who get married very young in life. I do not regret "getting married young" or "not sowing my wild oats." I do not feel like my life was taken away from me when I got married, as some people do. Jason had learned from alot of mistakes in his first marriage. But immune to arguments, we were not. Lately, we have been arguing. Not about anything important, just things. I kept telling myself it was the hormones causing me to act in ways I wouldn't normally act or that "everyone argues the first year of marriage." When it comes down to it, those are just excuses. Sure, there might be some truth to them, but really they are just scapegoats that give people reason to argue with their spouses. Yesterday, as we had spent the whole commute bickering and not speaking, I realized that there was something not right about all of this. It just felt wrong to be arguing with Jason. Our relationship was never one that was fueled by the passion of the up and down, roller coaster emotions that dominate some relationships. It just felt very off and very wrong that we had spent so much time lately not getting along. So, I did what I SHOULD have done this whole time. I prayed. And God showed me almost immediately what was going wrong.
I wasn't being a Godly wife and it was affected my relationship.
I prayed that God show me what He wanted me to see. How am I to be a more Godly wife? I told Jason I had this conviction and his response was the he probably wasn't being a Godly husband either. I realized that I wasn't praying for him to be Godly. I wasn't praying for him at all, which is the first step to being a Godly wife. So I have decided to devote time every day for the next 30 days to praying for my husband and for our marriage. I am spending time with God each day to show me how to take my marriage to the next level. Since I trust God 100%, I know these 30 days will help me and will help Jason be the man God wants him to be.
The first day, I am praying to be a spiritual supporter of my husband. I am praying for God to listen to my prayers and to help me to spend time praying every day for Jason, so that we both may know where our lives our meant to lead, according to God. Matthew 7:7-8 says "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." I am praying that God opens doors to what we will do as a married couple.
When Jason and I got together in the beginning, I had convinced myself that I had alot of wisdom when it came to relationships. I was by myself for so long and had been through so many heartbreaks and bad situations when it came to guys that I thought when I met Jason, I had it all figured out. I really thought that since I was older when I got married and was "wiser" that I was going to be immune to alot of the things people go through in relationships. I had seen friends get together and break up, watching as they went through their trials and I told myself I learned a few things along the way. I knew the importance of keeping your sense of humor. I knew the importance of spending time with friends as an individual. I knew what could happen to people if they didn't have God in the center of their relationship. I knew the benefits of not constantly fighting and making the relationship intentionally harder than it had to be. I really thought Jason and I were immune to alot of the things people go through in relationships. I was not exactly accurate.
I will say, Jason and I have been through alot and learned alot as individuals. We certainly do not have the same problems as people who get married very young in life. I do not regret "getting married young" or "not sowing my wild oats." I do not feel like my life was taken away from me when I got married, as some people do. Jason had learned from alot of mistakes in his first marriage. But immune to arguments, we were not. Lately, we have been arguing. Not about anything important, just things. I kept telling myself it was the hormones causing me to act in ways I wouldn't normally act or that "everyone argues the first year of marriage." When it comes down to it, those are just excuses. Sure, there might be some truth to them, but really they are just scapegoats that give people reason to argue with their spouses. Yesterday, as we had spent the whole commute bickering and not speaking, I realized that there was something not right about all of this. It just felt wrong to be arguing with Jason. Our relationship was never one that was fueled by the passion of the up and down, roller coaster emotions that dominate some relationships. It just felt very off and very wrong that we had spent so much time lately not getting along. So, I did what I SHOULD have done this whole time. I prayed. And God showed me almost immediately what was going wrong.
I wasn't being a Godly wife and it was affected my relationship.
I prayed that God show me what He wanted me to see. How am I to be a more Godly wife? I told Jason I had this conviction and his response was the he probably wasn't being a Godly husband either. I realized that I wasn't praying for him to be Godly. I wasn't praying for him at all, which is the first step to being a Godly wife. So I have decided to devote time every day for the next 30 days to praying for my husband and for our marriage. I am spending time with God each day to show me how to take my marriage to the next level. Since I trust God 100%, I know these 30 days will help me and will help Jason be the man God wants him to be.
The first day, I am praying to be a spiritual supporter of my husband. I am praying for God to listen to my prayers and to help me to spend time praying every day for Jason, so that we both may know where our lives our meant to lead, according to God. Matthew 7:7-8 says "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened." I am praying that God opens doors to what we will do as a married couple.
Comments
Plus when you pray FOR your husband you will begin to see him in a different light. You will want him to succeed and you will want to lift him up in person. I just love this. Keep on growing that baby. I am just 5 weeks behind you, these two girls will be so close in age. Love you and I am here for you! Tanna