"Nagging." "Attacked." "Controlling." These are all words that have been used to describe me over the last few months. It's very hard to hear things like this from your husband, especially if you think they aren't true. Hearing these words actually spurs on more fighting because it aggravates me that he would say I am being like that to him. Nevertheless, these words are Jason's reality. He is not someone that is manipulative or uses words as a way to get me to do things, so when he says he feels like I am being a nag or he feels like I am attacking him, it's important that I listen, no matter how hard it might be.
Sometimes, in a marriage or relationship, it's easier to accept that a person shouldn't feel that way instead of that they do feel that way. "My intent is not to nag you, I just want you to know..." "I am not being controlling, I just think you should..." "You shouldn't feel like I am attacking you, I just think if you were to be like this..." Just because the spirit of what you are saying is not intended to make your partner feel bad, doesn't mean it DOESN'T make him feel bad.
I need to learn to be a better listener to my husband. I need to learn to listen to what he is telling me and not take it defensively or personally. This is a very hard thing to do. But accepting that just MAYBE he has a point when he says things might actually help me either change my approach or make me realize that what I am trying to get across just might not be all that important.
Job 34:16 says "If you have understanding, hear this; listen to what I say." God wants us to listen to him. He wants us to hear what He says. He also wants us to do this with our spouses. In the course of not paying attention and truly lsitening with an open heart, there are feelings that might be missed. I pray that God makes me a good listener to my husband today.
Sometimes, in a marriage or relationship, it's easier to accept that a person shouldn't feel that way instead of that they do feel that way. "My intent is not to nag you, I just want you to know..." "I am not being controlling, I just think you should..." "You shouldn't feel like I am attacking you, I just think if you were to be like this..." Just because the spirit of what you are saying is not intended to make your partner feel bad, doesn't mean it DOESN'T make him feel bad.
I need to learn to be a better listener to my husband. I need to learn to listen to what he is telling me and not take it defensively or personally. This is a very hard thing to do. But accepting that just MAYBE he has a point when he says things might actually help me either change my approach or make me realize that what I am trying to get across just might not be all that important.
Job 34:16 says "If you have understanding, hear this; listen to what I say." God wants us to listen to him. He wants us to hear what He says. He also wants us to do this with our spouses. In the course of not paying attention and truly lsitening with an open heart, there are feelings that might be missed. I pray that God makes me a good listener to my husband today.
Comments