Sharing My Jennarocity

Do you ever sometimes feel like everything and every choice you do is wrong? I felt like that this past week. As a step-mom, it's hard to know your boundaries. It's hard to know what choice you will make that will be the one that might separate you from the kids. If you correct their behavior, is this the time you will cross the line with them and they will start not liking you? Do they feel like you are taking their dad away or making him less fun? I think Jason and the kids had a different dynamic before I came along. He was very fun and allowed them to do daring things. I think that's all men. They don't see sometimes the danger in what they allow kids to do, and as women, we do. For example, we took the kids on a walk to the parking lot of the school across the street (which was empty) so Jordan could practice on his new scooter and Sophia was walking her new baby in her new stroller. Well, earlier that day, he took the kids out by themselves and allowed them to ...

Know what I've decided? I am NOT going to do any more ongoing blogs, like the 12 days of Christmas. It was such a great idea, but I forget to do it, then I look back today and where I should have 11 I only have 4. I am just not good about this blogging thing yet. This week has been an interesting experience. I got to experience a little of what it's like to be a stay at home mom. We have the kids this week and I took the week off to hang out with them. I certainly have a new understanding for what it's like! There is a part of me that likes not having the responsibility of a job. However, being at home with children all day is a totally different challenge. First of all, it's hard labor. You do the cleaning, the laundry, vacuuming, etc. You are constantly picking things up, making food, playing with kids. I think I would probably lose about 20 pounds if I did it all the time, because there were a couple of meals I completely forgot to eat. I have been thinking about w...

Last year, actually on New Year's Eve, I called my dad sobbing because of how sad I was that was spending another holiday alone. I told him I was lonely and upset that I might never find anyone. I told him I felt hopeless of ever finding love. Isn't it funny how life works out? God knows our paths and knew, in that moment of hopelessness, I would find Jason 3 months later. Not only that, He knew I would also have two beautiful children I would have the honor to help raise. What a blessing that was! My relationship was completely unexpected. Had I only known Jason was coming, I don't know that I would have acted such the fool only 3 months before. It reminds me in life of all the time we jump to conclusions, or think things are so bad or will never get better, and suddenly, we look up and they are. I am so glad to have Jason, Jorden and Sophia in my life. I am glad for my new extended family, Robert, Shari, Scotty, Faith, Isom, Robert, Kadin, and Jax. I am also blessed by my...

There are so many opportunities we have to allow negative thinking and doubt to enter our minds and take over completely. I know I am guilty of it and have had it happen more times than I care to remember. Thankfully, God has given me a great gift of a strong mind and spirit to battle my daily demons and overcome them. Whatever those demons may be... "I don't like the way I look." "I am not good enough for love." "I don't deserve happiness." "We don't have enough money." God has given you the ability to overcome anything that is set in your path and do it with strength. "I can do anything through Him who gives me strength." Phillipians 4:13. Those are such comforting words! I can do ANYTHING! All you have to do is pray and be positive. God never gives us more than we can handle. In times of stress or need, I know that my Lord will never give me more than can handle, and I can call upon Him to help me through.

It's December 13th, that means 12 days to Christmas! I told myself I would blog about that this year. So, this week has been a hard one for me. I have been feeling very stressed, depressed, and my self-esteem hasn't been so great. I look in the mirror and don't like what I see, and it's not necessarily the weight. It's how I have kept myself up. My priorities have been a little skewed over the last few months, Jason and I both know that, and it has really done a number on me this week. There is one main component that's been missing from my life: God. I haven't been spending time with Him, in His word. It's funny how, over time, if you do not find time for God, your view of yourself goes right out the window and things in your life start to unravel. I am missing His presence, and I think that is what all of this is about. Therefore, on the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me... God and His Word. "Open the eyes of my heard, Lord. Open th...

There is no real reason for this post except to show the world my lazy dogs. And, this is only picture I could get of Molly being stil. She never takes great pictures. Everyone always says, "Those dogs would be much happier with a big yard and run around in." True, I guess, but they seem pretty happy now. They have me wrapped around their finger and know it. They both are people dogs and like being around us. We have taken them over the people's houses before and they usually end up sitting outside the door whining because they would rather be in with us. "Hey, what about us?" They would say. I love my dogs, I mean, LOVE them. Here they are. The cuties.

For those of you who do not have Rock Band, you all cannot appreciate all it's addicting qualities. The first time you play it, you are blown away with how little musical abilities you have and how bad you are. The first time I played it, the first words after my first song were "I don't want to play this stupid game anymore." Well, that changed and now, it's ton of fun. I was first introduced to Guitar Hero, the first of its kind. Guitar Hero is much more challenging than it's Rock Band equivalent, and if you really love the guitar, is probably more fun. However, Rock Band involves playing with other people and depending on them to not completely fail so that the band continues to play. Your characters have fun names like "Slash" and "Bubba" and they all look like losers, but they jam out once the song gets started. My parents got Rock Band next, which was tons of fun, because in Rock Band you can play the drums, the guitar, the bass, or s...

We came home from my parents, with borrowed Christmas decorations and presents in hand, with a determination to decorate Jason's house, put up the Christmas Tree, and wrap the kids' presents for when they came over on Thursday. We were so tired and so hungry, but we wanted to get it done. There is nothing better than relaxing at home on the couch to the glow of Christmas tree lights. This is our first Christmas together so it was a really great experience. We took turns decorating and took some pictures to commemorate the occasion. I have to admit, I haven't always been good about taking pictures, so sometimes I forget to take them and don't always think of great poses or what not, but it's one of my pre-New Year's resolutions so I will get better. I am so thankful and cannot wait for the kids to come over and get excited!

We had Thanksgiving this week and it was a lot of fun. This would be my first Thanksgiving with a significant other. Jason is such a wonderful man and I don't think I tell him enough how much I appreciate him. This was also the first year I got up on Friday morning to do Black Friday shopping. I guess I never had a reason to get up and go until we had kids to buy for. Since we don't get them but every other weekend, we don't have an abundance of clothes for them, but it's enough to last us for a couple of days. Well, we get the kids from December 18th to the 28th so we had to go get them some new outfits to wear. We showed up at Old Navy at around 2:30 am, expecting them to open at 3 am. The first few people got the new Lego Rock Band for free. Much to our surprise, there were already people in the store and there was a line wrapped around the whole store to check out. "What the..." we said. "Why are yall already open?" We asked the saleswoman. She t...

I started school this last Tuesday, so if you are wondering why my blog posts have fell behind it's because I have been (gulp) doing homework! Why has it taken me this long to do this? I look back on the last 9 years since being in school and cannot think of a single, solitary reason why I didn't get my degree. Well, I guess the reason would be that I figured I would do it before I turned 30 and that I had plenty of time, I needed to have fun and live my life instead. I don't believe in regret and shoulda-woulda-couldas, so I will not look back on my life hoping things turned out differently. It does make me sad that I will be 30 and still be working towards my degree, but I am also glad that I am 30 and not 40 working on my degree. Being a student this time around is a little bit different. I have noticed that I am not so much of a procrastinator anymore. I understand the importance of staying on top of my assignmnets, as my motivator this time is to graduate with honors a...

We took some family pictures down at Faith and Scotty's during the Halloween weekend, our first family pictures ever! I wanted to post those for you to see. Enjoy!

I am really excited! Monday, I woke up really excited about the wedding. I was always very excited to marry Jason, but I haven't always been sold on the idea of the wedding. I have never been one of those women who dream about their dress or flowers. I have always dreamed about who will be there when I walk down the aisle? And now that I see that face in my dream, I am excited about the rest. My mom and I decided on a place (hopefully) and now things are really coming together! I can't wait to talk planning and have this time in my life to have fun and be with Jason!

Well, this last weekend was certainly a flurry of activity! We took the kids to see Uncle Scotty and Aunt Faith and the boys: Isom, Robert, Kayden, and Jax. 6 Children hopped up on candy...FUN! Just kidding, we had a good time. Doing stuff like this really makes me appreciate what my parents went through sometimes to give me good experiences growing up! It was a long trip, very tiring, but worth it. We went to the Fall Festival that Scotty's church sponsored, so it was lots of activities, food and candy! We had a great time. Sophia the Enchanted Princess Giselle and Jordan the Ninja Jason doesn't do so well taking pictures like this... Thank you, Jason, for snapping this picture of me when was not looking.

Jason, I love you. I love every bit of you and one day I will devote a blog just to you in your wonderful goodness. But what do I look forward to the most about being married to you? ( Not being married. Being married TO YOU. ) 1) You are my best bud and I look forward to sharing my life with you. You and I have so much fun together and I love just hanging out with you. I love that for the rest of my life I have my built in buddy that I get to do even the most mundane of chores with because we still have fun. 2) Seeing what our kid(s) will look like. I can't wait to see him or her and watch them grow up with you! You are such a great dad and I can't wait to have a child we made together and be apart of their lives together. 3) Having someone by my side every night when we go to bed and every morning when we wake up. That's so cool. 4) Spending holidays together. I have never experienced that before in any relationship and I am so happy that you are the one I get to ...

Single Jenna, life wasn't always fun. These are the 5 things I won't miss: 1) "Why hasn't he called?" "Where is this relationship going?" "Reagen/Kate/Leslie/Brooke, why doesn't he love me" NO MORE OF THOSE CALLS! 2) Christmas, alone. Thanksgiving, alone. Family pictures, alone. 3) Loneliness in general. 4) Wondering where my life is going and questioning if someone will be able to accept me in all my wonderful flawed-ness. 5) Calls to my parents, "WHERE IS HE? I am sad, I am depressed, I live too far away" And so on and so on. These 5 so outway the last 5.

Ever since I got engaged, I have been so excited but yesterday, I started having this feeling of it sinking in. I think the older you are when you get engaged, and the longer you go in your life as a single adult, it becomes strange that your life is now about two people instead of just one. It sounds weird, but I almost feel like I am in mourning for my single life. I got so comfortable doing things on my own that at times, I kind of miss it. As soon as I became comfortable with being single and who I was as an independant woman, I found Jason, which is how it should be. Single Jenna deserves a second of mourning, I think. I worked hard to be her and I am proud of who I finally became. I am sure that no one would ever write this on their blog a week after getting engaged, and to some it may seem like I am not happy with my life and the changes going on in it. But please don't think that. I am very happy. My life is just going into a new phase and I wanted to stop for a second and ...

We started to look at venues today and it hit me that this is real and is actually happening. It's so strange when it happens to you. It's just something that I always thought was in the far distant future and it's been something I've thought about my whole life and now it is really happening. And it's so much more than I ever thought it would be! I must say, there is alot about this wedding that I really haven't given a whole lot of thought to, and to be honest, I don't really care too much about. Whenever I have thought about my wedding (and those who know me can attest to this) I have cared about two things; who I am marrying and let's party! I always told myself that I was just going to elope and I think if Jason had it his way, he would say we should do that too. But now that it's here, I really want a day for us to celebrate our relationship. I still don't care a whole lot about the details, thankfully, I have a mother who is great at that ...

Jordan started Tae Kwon Do this month! We are so excited that we get to watch him practice. He is so good at the movements and is very consise. Jason is just so proud when he watches him. Friday, they had "Parents Night Out" where you could take the kdis and drop them off for about 5 hours. Jordan watched a movie, played games, ate pizza, and came home just about as horse as possible. But he had a great time. Here are some pictures of him in action. Here are also some pictures of Sophia taking pics of herself while he was in class.

I usually hate doing these things, but I thought, hey. Why not. So here goes, in no particular order: 1) God. Without faith in the Lord, I honestly do not know where I would be. To live in a world without God would be a world not worth it. How could you live everyday without the security of knowing that Jesus has your heart and future in His hands? Although I don't always walk the best walk, I always love God and remember Him. 2) Friends. The show, not the people in this scenario. I love love love my Friends. It's there always, whenever I am in the dumps, it's there when I need a laugh, it's there when I need some familiarity. I love this show. I could never go without having this. When I have had no cable, suffering through without entertainment, it was always there to save me and keep me laughing, no matter how bad I was feeling at the time. 3) Books. I could never live without books. I crave knowledge and willingly read as many books as I can. If I could go bac...

Oh, Kate. Katers. You are one in a million. There is absolutely NO ONE in the world like you are. You are one of the most quick witted people I have met in my life, full of smart comments and lovely quotes said in all the right places. I can always trust you to come with something fast and funny to say. There isn't anyone I know who can quote things like you can. I try to keep up, but it's simply impossible. ( Robyn gives you a run for your money, though! ) Just when I master "Friends" you are on to "Flight of the Concords." Always one step ahead. I have never known anyone with worse luck, seriously, you take the cake on that! Please bubble wrap yourself from this point forward, check the weather before you step outside, and be very cautious because you NEVER know what's going to happen to you from day to day! And yet still, somehow, you always come out stronger and better for it. You are probably one of the most fun friends I have ever had. Back in our ...

I think Jason and I have known for a while that we were "meant to be." We had talked about getting married several times before, but how it was going to happen was going to be a complete surprise. I had never really thought about how I was going to be proposed to, I just knew that I wanted my family to be there and I wanted it to happen in a public place. Well, as of Monday evening, we are officially engaged! Jason really loves me and paid attention to what I wanted. I got to share this wonderful moment with all of the people I love, it was certainly a memory I will keep forever. I had decided to take the day off and meet my sisters, aunt and mom for a day of shopping. Since we were all going to be away from home, Jason decided he would ask my dad and Brooke’s husband to play golf that day. It was an absolutely gorgeous day! We decided to go eat dinner at The Cheesecake Factory in Frisco. To my surprise, when we walked in, there was my dad, brother in law, and boyfriend. J...

We had a great weekend last weekend! It was all about the kids, fall, and Halloween traditions. I went to the store on Friday and got a bunch of Halloween decorations for the kids. I also got these cute little flashlights which let you put a Halloween design at the end of it and you can shine it on the wall. There was a witch, a ghost and a jock-o-lantern. We turned off all the lights and took turns telling ghost stories using the symbols! We then played trick or treat in the dark. We thought the kids might be scared, but they loved it! On Saturday, we got up and found a cute pumpkin patch in Double Oak that was free and oh so awesome! We took alot of pictures there! There was great food, bounce houses, hay rides, pony rides, and tons of pumpkins! We came back, decorated the house and then carved our pumpkins. Then, we finished off the night with pancakes and hot chocolate! The kids had blue mouths all day from the blue snow cones, if you are wondering. I think holidays are so much mor...