Friday, February 14, 2014

Mommy Guilt on Valentine's Day

A few friends of mine posted on Facebook yesterday about feeling guilty about not doing super cute stuff for their kids for Valentine's day. Man, I know that feeling. Avery has now had four Valentine's parties in her life. Some years, I've sent really cute things with her. Other times, I haven't. It just really depended on what my week was like and what time I had to work on things. This year, I decided to have surgery the day before, so I sent FunDip Valentine's and store bought cupcakes to her party. My mom, luckily, made Avery a super cute shirt, so that was one less thing I had to worry about. Still, even though I was laying in bed, recovering from surgery, I still had the twinge of mommy guilt too, like, "I could have put more energy into this." "I could have come up with something cuter." Then, the Pinterest comes in, and you realize just how little you are measuring up to every other mom in the world.
I think going all out for holidays is great. Sometimes, I find myself going all out. One year, I made those melted crayon hearts in the oven and made a little gift bag of homemade treats I had created myself. It took me all night and I enjoyed it. It was fun for me to do that for her. But when it really came down to it, I did it for me. I did it because I loved to do it, it was fun. This year, I didn't feel like doing all of that. I didn't have the ability, anyway, so I just got stuff for the kids I thought a bunch of three years old would like - Fun Dip - and sent that. I "splurged" and spent a little more on the cupcakes with the rings on top to send to her class. And this year, that was OK. I had surgery and I still managed to get Valentine's to school and Valentine's to my kids at home.
Why, then, do we still feel like we could have done more? More, more, more?
I think it's wonderful when I look through my Facebook feed and see friends who have done all kinds of cute things for the holidays. And you will see, that some moms love some holidays more than others. A mom who might truly love Halloween and spends lots of time making a beautiful costume and does a great party might not do much for Valentine's. Or a mom who really loves July 4th will make big red, white and blue bows and spend 4 nights in a row to go see fireworks, won't get all in a fuss about Christmas. I feel like, we all have these grandiose ideas about the things we want to do for our kids for all of the holidays of the year. But ultimately, when it comes down to it, we celebrate and go "all out" for the holidays and events WE love the most, not necessarily what our kids love the most. Our kids could really care less what Valentine's we send with them to school. After I spent time feeling bad about not putting in more effort, Avery came home with the standard suckers and Valentine's. And that was great, Avery loved all that cheap candy. But you know, there are moms who truly love to go all out for Valentine's, and that's how they celebrate that holiday now. Their holiday is made complete because they came up with super cute ideas for treats and they spent time doing them for their kids. And that's OK too.
It's hard to keep up with everything. It really, really is. My mom is amazing at being proactive about holidays. She has probably already started looking for Easter stuff. She started working on that Valentine's shirt probably during Christmas. Her brain just works like that, and some mom's brains do. My brain doesn't always. I think I am doing good to have all of my kids Valentine's stuff bought a few days in advance.
But the bottom line is: no matter how much effort you put into going "all out" for holidays, or how this year, you just couldn't quite manage to get it all done to your own expectations, your kids will not love you or your efforts any less. Your kids will look back on their childhood and say, "I loved that my mom always made me great treats for Valentine's Day." or they'll say, "I loved that even though my mom worked 50 hours a week, she always managed to get my class Valentine's." Whatever memory it is, they will love it, because it will be a memory with you in it. They will know what you did for them, no matter how big or small, and they will look back with fond memories. So, when you are sitting at home looking over Mommy Guilt Website Pinterest, just remember. You are the best mom in the world to your child, and everything you do for them is special. And they love you the same and appreciate you the same, no matter what you could or couldn't do this year for Valentine's Day.
Happy Valentine's Day From Texas!

No comments: