We are both very sad, for so many reasons. Jason is very sad for the mother of his children, as he has been through this before with her and knows just how devastated she must feel. He feels so sad for their stepdad, as this was his first baby. And he feels very sad for Jordan, as he is taking this loss very hard. For me, having just gone through a pregnancy and birth, I can only imagine just how completely lost Kristin must feel, how powerless she must feel to know that this was out of her control and how as a mother, you just don't know where to go from here. As a stepmom, I feel ill equipped to know the right thing to do from this point forward, for the kids. Sophia is still pretty young, so we aren't sure she quite understands exactly what's happening. But for Jordan, he knows. And he is very upset about it all.
I have been thinking a lot about him, lately. Thinking about all of the things he has gone through in his young life. The loss of his parents and their marriage. The additions of a new mom and dad. Moving to a new city with new friends. The addition of a new sister. And now, the loss of a brother. I just can't imagine what his brain is going through right now, trying to process all of this. As a parent, its very hard to know the right things to do or say to kids in times like these. Its hard to know what to do or say to their mother. Even though we had no relation to that child, this was our kids little brother, a brother that had a name and a room and a future place in their lives. And for that, we know we are big part of this, as guidance and a strength for them.
I just keep thinking of all of the things that up to this point have mattered so much, our time with them, when we get to see them, when she gets them, and the arguing that has happened as a result of all of these things. But now, all of that stuff just doesn't matter because its not about us, its about them and how we will help them the best now. It just really puts things in perspective. Money, time, stuff. They don't need it. They need parents who are here and who love them and who care for their mother, and that is exactly what we will do.
Just pray for them, their family and for us to be there how we need to be there.
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