Going back to work was incredibly hard for me. Obviously, I had feelings of guilt, and sadness, and heartbreak. During my maternity leave, I had these feelings of really wanting to be a stay at home mom. It broke my heart to think about leaving her all day, not to mention the cost of daycare is crazy! I was trying to think of anything I could do that could keep me home with Avery. Work at nights? Work at home? Move into a cheaper place? Nothing I could think of could feasibly keep me at home, so I found a woman who had a stay at home daycare. Her name is Pam and her house is about 10 minutes away from ours. That morning, I just remember hugging and kissing her and being so sad. I started taking pictures of her every day that I would send to myself at work so I could see her all day, a tradition that has kept going since day one. Jason took her on her first day, and boy, am I glad he did. My last image going to work was her safely in Jason's arms, not being left with a stranger.
I couldn't wait to come get her! My day couldn't go by fast enough and I just felt myself so excited to leave so I could see her again. I picked her up that night, and like every other night that week, I wouldn't put her down until I rocked her to sleep.
Everyone kept telling me to give it two weeks and it would get easier, and honestly, they were right. As I got to know Pam and some other kids and parents, I felt really good that she was there. I loved that she got to be around other kids during the day, that there were people watching her who were moms themselves who taught her things all day long and she was getting to be in an environment where she was always getting mentally and physically stimulated. I love my daughter, but I really would not make a good stay at home mom. I am not creative with new things to always have her do and I know that they are much more structured than I would ever be. And Pam really loves my daughter. She loves watching her do new things and she is such a partner with me for Avery's development. Now, truth be told, I really enjoy having my work life. Even though its not the most challenging job, I get to spend my days among adults who I enjoy. Its hard, with us both working. I think it takes a really good partnership to make a family work where there are two working adults, where one doesn't feel like they are dong more work than another, but I think Jason and I do pretty well! These pictures are my first week of work pictures, I am so glad I did that because I remember that week so vividly. Also, here is a picture from the other day of a little boy who is there with her named Andrew..they are the same age and Pam loves having them play together!
I couldn't wait to come get her! My day couldn't go by fast enough and I just felt myself so excited to leave so I could see her again. I picked her up that night, and like every other night that week, I wouldn't put her down until I rocked her to sleep.
Everyone kept telling me to give it two weeks and it would get easier, and honestly, they were right. As I got to know Pam and some other kids and parents, I felt really good that she was there. I loved that she got to be around other kids during the day, that there were people watching her who were moms themselves who taught her things all day long and she was getting to be in an environment where she was always getting mentally and physically stimulated. I love my daughter, but I really would not make a good stay at home mom. I am not creative with new things to always have her do and I know that they are much more structured than I would ever be. And Pam really loves my daughter. She loves watching her do new things and she is such a partner with me for Avery's development. Now, truth be told, I really enjoy having my work life. Even though its not the most challenging job, I get to spend my days among adults who I enjoy. Its hard, with us both working. I think it takes a really good partnership to make a family work where there are two working adults, where one doesn't feel like they are dong more work than another, but I think Jason and I do pretty well! These pictures are my first week of work pictures, I am so glad I did that because I remember that week so vividly. Also, here is a picture from the other day of a little boy who is there with her named Andrew..they are the same age and Pam loves having them play together!
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