Jason and I have a very non-selfish marriage. I really feel like we do the 50/50 thing pretty well. We share the chores, we share the responsibility of the kids, we do what needs to be done equally. Sometimes, one of us lazier than the other, but the other picks up the slack. So, when one of us needs something that they might deem "selfish," it's hard to ask for it without feeling guilty. I seem to ask for things more than Jason, but Jason doesn't really ask for much from me. He says he feels guilty (although I don't know why). Anyway, for Christmas this year, he asked me for a coupon book. I kind of thought at the time that it was a cop-out to a real gift, but now I am seeing that this is invaluable to him, and it's exactly what he wanted. In fact, I love it so much, that's what I am getting for my birthday, and I can't wait!
He didn't tell me what he wanted the coupons to be, so I just thought of things I thought he might like and wrote them down. These are the ones that are left from the original stack. It's things like "One day of golf" or "Laundry free week (where I do all of the laundry without him helping)" "one afternoon of free time, kid free" stuff like that. Last weekend, he used his "sleep until noon or spend the morning in bed without kids bothering you" coupon. You will also see the "One week of eating out for lunch." We just don't eat out at every meal for lunch, it would get way too expensive for the two of us to do that every day. So I bring mine, and he goes home to eat lunch. But the coupon entitles him to eat out, every day, for lunch.
I know this seems silly, but I think in a marriage it's easy to fall into a trap where either you never do anything you really want to do because you forget or it seems like it's never a good time, or you start to resent your spouse because you feel like you are doing more than your fair share. With these coupons, we know what to expect, we know the types of things we'd be required to do, and we happily accomodate. He used his "dish free week" coupon and he loved that not once, did he have to touch a dish for 7 days. And I actually enjoyed doing dishes that week, because I knew it was making him happy and that he didn't feel guilty about not getting up to help.
I think in marriage, you really have to be deliberate in your attempts to make the other person happy. So often, time passes by and you realize you haven't done anything for the other person that required thought and selflessness, and we try very hard not to get into that trap. These coupons really help. I can't wait to see what mine are going to be! I really hope an hour foot rub is in there (hint, hint!)
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